


When cat-lovers collide

by 8Antisocial_hyooman8



Category: Cuticle Tantei Inaba | Cuticle Detective Inaba, おそ松さん | Osomatsu-san (Anime), 月刊少女野崎くん | Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun
Genre: Bad adults with bad mouths, Crossover Pairing, F/M, Humor, IchiKei is main, It took me forever to write all those characters, M/M, Nozaki Kei is Nozaki Umetarou´s buraza, Shounen-ai, and also new OTP, cracked maybe?, how do you think he knew Inaba´s eyes were those of a girl in love?, shoujo manga obviously, the rest are way more subtle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7942393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8Antisocial_hyooman8/pseuds/8Antisocial_hyooman8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, listen me out--or rather, read me out: so, okay, like, Osomatsu-san and Cuticle Detective Inaba are weird enough animes that they could be from the same universe, RIGHT? And Nozaki Kei has the same surname as well as similar features as Nozaki Umetarou, DOESN'T HE? Also both Kei and Ichimatsu are total cat-lovers, AREN'T THEY?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Off to save my baby

**Author's Note:**

> Real summary: Nozaki Kei has already several troubles with his job as the cuticle detective's assistant and dealing with his three siblings. Now with an antisocial cat-whisperer and his five identical brothers who knows what awaits his poor soul? 
> 
> (I like the first summary better)
> 
> Declaimer: Cuticle detective Inaba, Osomatsu-san, Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun. None of these belong to me, okay?
> 
> Author's note: I was just doing...er..."doing" my homework like a "responsible" person when this idea popped into my head. And I was so caught up on it and so frustrated that I could find nothing about it that I went and wrote this. Hopefully it'll look as good as it did in my mind.  
> In case you didn't get it, this is boyxboy, shounen-ai, IchiKei (hell, that sounds good) 
> 
> There are other pairings but they're more subtle. 
> 
> It's based on the Osomatsu-san anime (duh), Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun anime and manga and the Cuticle Detective Inaba anime (because I haven't caught up with the manga and don't wanna be making too many changes).

It was a weird day.

Weird enough for the cuticle detective not to be doing anything stupid, dangerous or random. Weird enough for his blonde assistant to be _calmly_ tipping stuff on his laptop. Weird enough for his black haired assistant to be _studying_.

And then there was a knock on the door.

The person outside didn't wait for someone to open the door, instead opening it themselves. "Excuse me..." a high-pitched voice spoke as pale reddish hair appeared  from outside.

Soon, there was a small girl--a middle schooler--wearing a green uniform and hair in big curly pigtails standing by the door. "Is this Inaba-san's office...?"

Yuuta and Hiroshi were mildly confused as to what a middle schooler would want there. They had dealed with more weird shit than that, but it still felt a bit off.

Could she be from the mafia? A client?

Surprisingly though, their answers came from Kei. "Yumeko?" he asked in a dumbfounded way. "What are you doing here?"

_'Yumeko?'_ Hiroshi and Yuuta were still silent, and now probably even more dumbfounded that Kei.

Yumeko's mood soon changed once she saw the black haired boy. "Kei-niichan!" she exclaimed in a distressed voice as she kneeled besides the table in front of her brother. "Bad news!"

_'Nii-chan???'_ the werewolf and the cross dresser shared glances.

"Bad news...? Couldn't you have told me on the phone...?"

Yumeko looked away. "...I forgot it."

"You just wanted to see where I work, didn't you..." Kei sighed. "Anyways, what is it?"

Yumeko bit her lower lip before looking back at Kei and finally speaking. "I went to leave something at your apartment ...and......" she took a deep breath. "Luna ran away."

"........................................."

Everyone stayed silent. Waiting for something to happen, for the annoyingly devoted cat-lover to react.

Kei silently stood up in a slow manner, three pair of eyes on him (Yuuta's not really that interested).

"HMMM!" with a manly grunt, he suddenly flexed his muscles to a point where his jacket had teared into pieces and his hoodie presented holes. He was also surrounded by a red and black fire-resembling aura.

"Wait, he looks just like Ogi!"

The boy ignored that as he only said one thing before disappearing at maximum speed trough the door. "I'm off."

Right before coming back after three seconds.

"Yumeko, you shouldn't stay alone with these people." he quickly picked her up and ran out of the office again.

Hiroshi and Yuuta still were in silence.

"WAIT. Kei has a little sister??? And what does he mean by 'these people'?!" was Hiroshi's incredibly late reaction.

"Hey, sensei. Let's ignore all that and play a game!" Yuuta interrupted with his usual not-caring-at-all cheerful tone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kei put his hand against a wall as he caught his breath. After putting his sister on train station to go back home he had ran around a distance that could easily have been four stations in that train.

As despair started to caught up to him, he tried to ignore it and keep calling for his beloved pet. That is until he heard something familiar.

"Meeeeowww..." it was brief, and probably three blocks away. But Kei had _somehow_ managed to hear it and without thinking he sprinted towards it.

He turned into an ally after he heard the mewing again and found his precious baby curled up between purple clothes. He looked up to find a man in a purple hoodie sitting down against the ally's wall. He had messy black hair, his hoodie clearly had been worn so much that it had stretched, he had some ugly sweatpants on and shabby-looking sandals. He was staring at him with dark dead eyes.

Of course though, Kei wasn't paying attention to him. His cat was there.

"LUNA~!" he squealed in joy as he--with supernatural speed--took the cat from the man's arms and spun it around happily.

Lost in his happiness, Kei didn't take notice of the growing darkness from the man's part.

And when he finished kissing up and down his beloved pet, he crutched down at the man's level with a big goofy smile on his face--since he still was oblivious to his anger.

"Thank you very much!" he exclaimed, his eyes practically sparkling. Too lost in joy to be the rational straight man he usually was, he grabbed the man's hand and energetically shook it, despite the man very possibly being some hobo. "You found my baby! I'm seriously so grateful!"

Having trouble to keep up with Kei's positive energy, the man only slowly untangled his hand from Kei's. "I'm Nozaki Kei, by the way."

Still having trouble keeping up, the man did what came to his mind first. "Matsuno Ichimatsu..." he mumbled at the boy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ichimatsu couldn't believe himself.

At first, he just found a hairless cat. Ichimatsu was not one to turn down the possibility of petting a cat, no matter how they looked like. His strangeness and awkwardness with the world--he probably was a pet kept inside all the time--even reminded him of himself.

So he picked it up.

And it mewed.

And then the danger sensors in his brain almost blew up.

A murderous aura quickly approached him--making him almost shit his pants--and soon there was a middle schooler standing in front of him.

_'Not dangerous at all...just annoying.'_ he thought as the younger male spun the hairless cat around. Suddenly enough, he was thanking him and introducing himself _and shaking his hand_! And it all was so fucking quick and unexpected and plain _weird_ for it to happen to lone-wolf-Ichimatsu that he could only mutter his name back.

Ichimatsu was unsociable trash that could only show love and care to cats, he was aware of this. So he never thought he'd be in this situation, a kid looking up at him like he was some kind of hero.

That happened to idiot hypocrites who only did good things to be appreciated. The kind of people that Ichimatsu hated because they had friends, and girlfriends, and sex, and everybody loved them and had barbecues with them...!!

...not to him. Definitely not to him.

So why the hell was this kid still here?!

He'd ask him if he could, but of course, if he could normally speak to people he would, maybe, have friends too. The point was that he couldn't.

He _was_ unsociable trash after all.

"Are you okay, Matsuno-san?" the boy--Nozaki asked.

Ichimatsu looked to a side, and back to him when he realized something. That carelessness...he probably was one of them! Those social good-looking guys that everyone loved and approached anyone like it was no big deal!

"You must have it good..." he felt how mouth turned into an angry, a bit depressive, sarcastic smirk. Those big brown eyes finally moved from his cat to him. "I bet all the middle school girls chase you...and go to the karaoke...and...have... _barbeques_...!" he muttered angrily.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Matsuno-san." the boy replied, his oblivious yet pleased look still on. "I'm in high school. And barbeques are too expensive." he sounded honestly confused.

Ichimatsu was taken aback. _That_ kid was a _high_ schooler? With that short height and baby face?

Okay, so he probably didn't have that many girls behind him.

But--

"AH!" Nozaki suddenly stood up, his cheeks flushed red and his eyes sparkling yet again. His smile turned even goofier and he seemed like he was about to melt. "Cats~!" he exclaimed.

Ichimatsu looked back to see that indeed, there were cats approaching them. He knew them, he actually had come to this ally to visit them and feed them. They were probably waiting for Nozaki to leave, but came anyways after getting impatient.

He felt himself relax at the sight of his friends.

Though not nearly as much as the other, who was becoming one with the floor. His own cat was looking at him weird.

Some approached him curiously, and then he suddenly grabbed one and started rubbing his cheeks against it. "Here, kitty, kitty! So cute, you're so cute! I could rub you all day!"

The stray cat was obviously not used to being smothered, it was trying to get away and obviously annoyed.

And Ichimatsu was too.

He took the cat from Nozaki with anger and put him down. "What the _fuck_ are you doing?!" he yelled furiously.

The boy--as well as that stupid expression on his face--remained unaffected. "I just love them so much--"

"If you 'love them so much' don't just fucking grab! They don't even know you!" before he realized it, he was grabbing the boy by his hoodie and yelling to his face. "Treat them right! If you keep annoying them like that I'll fucking kill you!"

"Okay, okay, okay!" for the first time, Nozaki looked scared. Though that fear quickly disappeared and was replaced by something...else-- something shiny--as he sat in seiza and smiled at him stupidly. "Will you teach me?" Ichimatsu kept a straight face.

_'WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GET YOURSELF IN, ICHIMATSU?!'_ he screamed internally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He didn't have to teach him much--just not to smother them and play with them from a certain distance unless they decided otherwise--and the cats were already all over him. He was now being licked, and he clearly--painfully so--was enjoying himself.

"Ahahahaha! Not there Mr. Kitty! It tickles! Ah, okay, do whatever you want! I don't mind anything!"

Ichimatsu watched the odd scene while he petted some of the cats that were too lazy to deal with the younger's energy.

Well, he could admit he had a gift  if they wanted to hang around him after that retarded move from before--

"Achoo!"

He had also been sneezing for a while. If he looked a bit closer...

"Your face got red." he stated.

Still drowning in joy, Nozaki responded. "Um? Ah, it's probably because I'm allergic to cats."

"Oh..." Ichimatsu nodded. "Wait. What."

"BLEEEEEEERGGHH!" before he could react, Nozaki was throwing up like he was possessed. Not only his face, but his hands were covered with red spots that looked itchy.

He sat up weakly after emptying himself, and looked around like he was lost. His eyes posed on Ichimatsu before they started to close. "Matsuno-sa..."

And he fell unconscious to the floor.

"..........................."

Ichimatsu looked at Luna, who had positioned herself on her owner's stomach.

_'WHAT THE HELL?!'_

This really wasn't something that happened to Matsuno Ichimatsu.

**End of chapter one.**


	2. What the hell are you doing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichimatsu is awkward. Yumeko is awkward. Kei is awkward. Mayu is just sleepy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Declaimer: Cuticle detective Inaba, Osomatsu-san, Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun. None of these belong to me, okay?
> 
> Author's note: I wrote this the very next day I finished the first one. You know how weird that is? It's REALLY weird. I never do that. But then again, I don't usually make chapters this short. Oh well.

_'WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!'_

Ichimatsu asked himself. He was currently walking in public with unconscious Nozaki Kei on his back, and Luna on her owner's mop of hair.

_'I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW HOW IT CAME TO THIS! AND WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE HIM?! HIS HOUSE?? I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK HE LIVES! HOSPITAL? I HAVE NO MONEY! MY HOUSE? MY HOUSE IS HELL! AAHHHHHH!'_

While Ichimatsu mentally panicked, Nozaki Umetarou calmly walked to the opposite way. When his eyes found them, he stopped.

"Ah..." he mouthed. _'What a perfect position! Mamiko should be carried like that! Maybe she could be sick, or--!'_ he thought as he took out a little notebook and wrote down his ideas.

After a while Ichimatsu also passed Nozaki Mayu, who kept walking without glancing back. "...ah..." _'Kei-niisan...? Turning around is too much work, it probably wasn't...'_

Ichimatsu kept walking and panicking when Nozaki Yumeko--who also was walking to the opposite direction of the man--spotted them.

"AH!" she exclaimed and pointed a finger, gaining Ichimatsu's attention. "Who are you?! Why do you have my brother with you??"

Thank god the Nozaki family has Yumeko.

Ichimatsu felt like he was blessed for a moment. Nozaki's little sister would take him home and he would be able to go back to his cats!

And then that moment ended.

_'HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO A MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRL?!'_

And he panicked again.

Though of course his face didn't show that, so he just looked like a strange poker-faced man that had her brother and wouldn't tell her why.

_'Okay, okay...calm down, Ichimatsu...! If you can manage this you'll get this burden off you! Quickly! JUST DO IT!'_

"A...!" he mouthed.

"Ah...?" the little girl parroted in confusion.

"ALLERGY!" Ichimatsu awkwardly yelled as he took the unconscious boy from his back and held it from his armpits in front of his sister to see.

The hairless cat jumped to his head--since he was steadier than her owner--watching with amusement.

"Allergy..." she parroted again. "AH! Was he around cats? Is that it?"

_'YES! THANK YOU, SMART LITTLE SISTER! I'M SO GLAD THAT NOT ALL SIBLINGS ARE HELPLESS DUMBSHITS!'_ Ichimatsu only nodded repeatedly.

"I see..."

"......"

"......"

_'Why is she not taking him?'_

"....meeeoooowww~"

_'Does he want me to carry him?!'_ Yumeko realized. _'DOES HE ACTUALLY THINK I CAN?!'_

The red haired girl looked around nervously--making Ichimatsu start to sweat bullets--before speaking again. "Could...could you help me get Kei-niichan home?"

"..............................................okay."

_'FUCK!'_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Currently Ichimatsu was still walking, Nozaki Kei still on his back, the cat still on his head and Nozaki Yumeko--as she had introduced herself--leading the way to their house.

_'To think Kei-niichan walked all the way here while I came on train...he may have a problem with his cat. Anyways, our house is closer than his apartment so I guess we'll head there.'_ Yumeko thought.

Ichimatsu--meanwhile--looked around the streets for his brothers, they _could not_ see him. If they spotted him hanging around with a high school boy and a middle school girl there was no knowing what would come next. But he was sure it would be annoying and probably embarrassing.

He thought of hiding his face with his hood, but the bush on his front was unmistakable.

"We're here." Ichimatsu sighed in relief, his brothers had been nowhere to be seen.

Yumeko took a key from her bag and inserted it in the keyhole, but it didn't twist. "What the...?" she tried again but the key wouldn't move. She then decided to twist the handle to find out the door simply wasn't locked.

"P-please come in Purple-san..." Yumeko said without looking at him. She left her shoes on the entrance and quickly went inside.

Yes. Ichimatsu had told her his name was Purple-san. _'I don't know how I'd react if my name was spoken by such a girly voice, even if it was from a middle schooler. I can't trust myself.'_

Meanwhile, Yumeko found Mayu lying on the couch watching TV. "Mayu-kun! You left the door unlocked so you wouldn't have to stand up again, didn't you?" she scolded.

Mayu responded as his usual lazy self, "Mmm...yeah..." lying about it would be too much work, after all.

Yumeko sighed, she wouldn't change her brother's lazy ways with a scold anyways. "Get up, Mayu-kun. Kei-niichan is here and he's sick." she explained.

Mayu stared at her. He thought of asking why was Kei there instead of his own apartment, but after reaching the conclusion that it was too much trouble, he turned on his side and fell face-first to the floor.

Yumeko signaled Ichimatsu to approach the couch while she went for his medicine. And he did, _very_ uncomfortable by the huge teenager lying at the floor, but he did leave the still-unconscious-boy on the couch. The hairless cat jumped from his head to it's owner's stomach and curled up on it.

Yumeko soon was spreading some cream on her brother's damaged skin and forcing drops of something inside his mouth. Ichimatsu looked curiously at the odd--at least for him--scene, but soon decided that he wanted to go back to his cats.

_'Done. Now I can leave.'_ he thought as he started to walk away.

"Wa-wait, Purple-san!"

Okay, so maybe he shouldn't have told her that was his name. It sounded more and more ridiculous each time.

_'He's probably a friend of Kei-niichan, he's gotten a lot of grown up friends since he started working_...' Yumeko thought. "Thanks for taking care of my brother!" she bowed. "Don't you want a cup of tea, or something?"

Ichimatsu looked at her, reading himself to refuse the answer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_'I ended up saying yes again, DAMMIT!'_

Ichimatsu cursed himself as he found himself sitting in front of a table with a cup of tea in his hands. Yumeko had left him and went to help her brother, who could have still been suffering from his allergic reaction.

If there was anything to thank in this situation, it was the fact that that huge thing Yumeko called 'Mayu-kun' wasn't in the same room.

"Matsuno-san?"

"Ah..." Ichimatsu turned around to see Kei standing by the doorway. He still had some red marks over his body, but they didn't seem as bad anymore. Kei's cat also appeared trough the doorway and without hesitation jumped on Ichimatsu's lap.

Kei also approached him and sat down besides him.

"Yumeko left to do her homework...she told me you carried me home." he said. Ichimatsu didn't respond. "Thank you. Even though we barely met you've already helped me twice."

The older man still didn't answer, instead he took a sip of his tea. Kei glanced around the room awkwardly.

"Umm...do you want to stay for a hot meal...?"

"I'm not a hobo."

"...!" Kei was taken aback, and a bit embarrassed too. "...I'm sorry..." he looked at his pet, she seemed naturally comfortable with him. "You're really good with cats, huh?"

Ichimatsu stared at the boy, if he was perfectly honest... "You are too..."

Kei's eyes widened. "Eh? Really? You think so?" he smiled and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. Meanwhile Ichimatsu hissed at himself for accidentally speaking his thoughts.

"Kei-niichan!" Yumeko called from the living room. "You think you can help me with my math homework? Mayu-kun is no help at all!"

"Maybe later! I'm with Matsuno-san right now!" Kei answered before turning back to Ichimatsu. "Anything else you want? Sweets? Uh, we have mostly sweets..."

"Mmmm..." Ichimatsu mumbled, ignoring the boy's question. "So this is what a normal family is like..."

"Eh?" Kei tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

"...nothing." he carefully took the cat off his lap and stood up. "I'm off now."

"Eh...? Ah, are you sure, Matsuno-san? You're welcome to stay for a while longer..."

"No. I'm off." he interrupted as he walked away.

"Um...okay..." Kei followed him to the door though.

Ichimatsu looked back at the kid, he didn't seem as energetic and annoying as before. He was calmer and more polite....it was probably the medicine.

He put on his sandals and turned back to the boy again. "Bye."

Kei still felt awkward with the man, but he smiled at him nonetheless. "Goodbye, I hope we meet again!"

Without another word, Ichimatsu closed the door behind him.

Kei sighed, dealing with him had been tough. He was too quiet and he couldn't figure out quite what he wanted. But he had helped him, and though he _looked_ scary he didn't quite feel that way.

"I'm going, Yumeko! What subject was that homework for again?"

Or maybe Kei was dealing with terrorist groups a bit too much.

 

** End of chapter 2 **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. Everyone forgot about Iyori-san, he still is looking for Luna.
> 
> So I imagined that Ichimatsu would still be stiff and nervous around young girls too, but not as much as girls his age. I'm still struggling about his reaction for when he meets Gabriela, Noah and Yuuta hehehe.
> 
> Also, I'm positive Ichimatsu is somewhat scary, Kei just hasn't seen his dangerous side yet.
> 
> Stay tuned for some manga projects in next chapter!
> 
> (Ignore if the notes from the first chapter appear, I´m new to the site and it doesn´t seem to like me)


	3. The predatory eyes of a girl in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kei visits his big brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I'm perfectly honest, this looked way better in my head. I find incredibly great how Ume is 190 cm. tall, Mayu 18something, and Kei--who is in the middle of them--is 158.

Kei yawned as he left the house. His apartment was close to Hiroshi's office, but his family house was not, so he had to wake up earlier than usual to take the train.

Not only that, but while he ate his breakfast he was met with his parents' shocked eyes.

_"Why are you here, Kei???"_

_"You're saying it like I'm not welcomed!"_

Since they first spotted him until he was leaving the house, Mr. and Mrs. Nozaki bombarded their second son with questions.

_'Dad is still mad about Luna...'_ Kei took that into account.

He saw Yumeko before he left, she hugged him goodbye. Mayu--as expected--didn't even get up from bed.

It was strange, but it didn't feel bad. He should spend more time with his family. He hadn't seen Umetarou for months though. It was a bit harder, since he also lived alone and worked.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It wasn't that hard.

Umetarou himself had called for him to come to his house. The text had no explanation, but that was to be expected of his blunt, simple brother. 

He didn't get to visit him much, so he was quite excited. Every time he asked if he could come over to his house or invited him to his own, Umatarou was busy with either his manga or the homework he somehow managed to do.

The door was unlocked when he arrived, so he just let himself in. "Pardon the intrusion! Umetarou-niisan? It's me!" he spoke, expecting to hear his overly tall brother's voice coming from his main room.

Instead, he saw a red haired overly short girl--she was shorter than _him_ \--in a high school uniform carrying two cups of something. She was staring at him with equal confusion to his own.

Kei bowed his head. "I'm sorry. It seems I came here by mistake." he said before walking away.

That is, until a familiar voice came from the inside of the house and made him stop. "Kei? Come in!"

Both Kei and the mystery girl turned towards the direction of that voice and shared confused glances once again.

Still confused, they silently walked into the living room. Where--surprisingly for Kei--Umetarou was sketching, his table full with sheets of papers and different pens.

_'There is no way this is his girlfriend, is there?! He's UMETAROU-NIISAN!'_

Umetarou stood up before speaking. "This is my younger brother Kei. And this is my schoolmate Sakura, she's helping me with the beta."

"Ah, I see!" so she was Umetarou's assistant. That made sense! He didn't have eyes for anything else than his manga, after all. "It's nice to meet you. Thank you for taking care of my brother." he smiled at her.

She smiled back. "It's my pleasure! I don't mind helping Nozaki-kun!" she said cheerfully. "I'm...his... _schoolmate_ after all..."  

"...."

Oh.

"...."

"I'm sorry."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Sorry, Sakura. I was in such a hurry that I forgot to tell you Kei was coming."

"No, no." Chiyo waved her hands in front of her face. "It's okay, Nozaki-kun. Though you should have told me you had another brother! Mayu-kun would be your older brother, right Kei-kun? How old are y--?"

"Actually, I'm sixteen."

"..."

"I'm... _also_ Mayu's older brother..."

Oh.

"...I'm sorry."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"So, what do you need me for?" Kei asked. They were all siting by Umetarou's table now, his sheets and pens prepared along with a bunch of sketches.

"I want you to be a model for a character I'm working on. Specially for your hair." the taller male explained.

Kei felt instantly flattered. "Really? What kind of character? The protagonist?" he excitedly asked. By his side, Chiyo was also quite excited.

"It's for _Let's love_ , so it's an important new side-character."

"Which one? Which one?" Kei stood up in excitement.

"Do you have a drawing, Yumeno-sensei??" Chiyo also stood up.

Umetarou nodded before searching between folders and presenting one sheet. "Here it is."

Kei and Chiyo excitedly--almost hungrily--looked over the drawing.

The hair was very similar to Kei's, as well as the face--or at least as similar as it could be in manga form. It captured Kei's excited smile in an unspeakable way, it was--

"IT'S A GIRL!" Kei screamed.

Umetarou seemed a bit pleased at Kei's 'comment', his eyes sparkling. "I'm experimenting and going with a more boyish character that slowly finds her femininity after falling in love." he said as he showed another sketch of the same character blushing and with sparkly eyes. "She'll also befriend Mamiko and they'll help each other in their love problems!"

Chiyo was beyond excited, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks blushed like a child on Christmas. "I wanna read it already!"

"Support me a little, Sakura-san!" Kei covered his face as he flushed red. "I don't wanna see my manga-self making such a girly face!"

"Stay just like that, Kei! Cover your face a bit less!" Umetarou exclaimed while holding a notebook and a pen.

Way beyond embarrassed, Kei ran to the door in a childish manner. "I'M NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN!"

"He's running away! Stop him, Sakura!" was Umetarou's order, to which Chiyo responded with a 'YES' that suspiciously resembled a dog's bark.

Chiyo caught Kei as he was opening the front door. "Wait, wait, Kei-kun! It's not that bad!"

"It's not fair!" Kei replied in a childishly whiny tone. "My workmates always embarrass me, and now my brother too!"

"But Kei-kun, don't you think it's an honor to be a model for one of Yumeno-sensei's works? He always picks people surrounding him as models!" Chiyo explained before her eyes fell to the ground and her grip on Kei's clothes loosed. "Well, except me...I'm probably not interesting..."

"I'm sorry Sakura-san. Please don't think lowly of yourself." Kei deadpanned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a while, Chiyo recovered and smiled at the boy. "Um...by the way, you don't have to be so formal, Kei-kun."

Kei tilted his head to a side. "Then...Sakura-chan?"

Chiyo was enchanted. _'CUTE!'_ "Would you be my little brother?" she asked as she held his hands in her own. Before Kei could respond, Chiyo blushed deeply. "N-not that I mean I want to be you s-sister-in-law or anything!" she nervously said as she waved one hand in front of her like a fan.

_'She totally does...'_ Kei thought. Slowly he bowed. "I'm very sorry for my brother's obliviousness, Sakura-chan. I'm sure he doesn't dislike you."

Chiyo nodded. A bit sadder this time.

"...yeah."

Kei tried to quickly think of ways to cheer Chiyo up, he didn't mean to sadden her with his comments. "Uh, well, but...you know...! I'll help you out! Don't give up! You're a nice girl, Sakura-chan!" he started rambling.

The girl smiled sweetly at him. "Yeah! Thank you, Kei-kun!" she held up her hand and patted him on the head. "You're a good boy!"

Ignoring that she was treating him like a dog, Chiyo focused on something else: Kei's bright red cheeks. "Eh? Why are you blushing?"

_'Could it be...? NO! I belong to Nozaki-kun only! ...though he does look cute...'_

"I..." Kei spoke. "Didn't expect you to actually feel like a big sister..."

It was like lightning striking her trough her chest.

_'Having Nozaki-kun as my husband and Kei-kun as my little brother has become my life goal!'_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Umetarou blinked. Chiyo and Kei had been by the entrance for a while now. He could hear their voices, but what they were saying was beyond him.

Curiously, he approached the entrance hall and opened the door to find Kei sitting cross-legged on the floor and Chiyo rubbing his head. Both with silly satisfied smiles on their faces.

_'...head massage...?'_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Ne, Nozaki-kun. Isn't anyone else coming today?" Chiyo asked once they were back working.

Kei had reluctantly agreed to be a model and was currently sitting in front of Umetarou for him to copy his hair.

"Ah...yes. I forgot that too, sorry. Mikoshiba is coming too." Umetarou said.

"Mikoshiba...?" Kei asked curiously.

"Mikoshiba's a personal friend and helps drawing the flowers."

"Hmmm..." Kei hummed. 

Chiyo smiled at him. "Mikorin is a very timid person, so be gentle, okay?" she seemed to really be into the big sister thing.

_'Wait...'_ Kei stopped. _'Umetarou-nissan called_ Mikorin _(female, then) a personal friend, which means someone close...and Sakura-chan...'_ "And you're totally fine with it?!"

Chiyo tilted her head to a side. "Hm? Fine with what?"

Kei was about to retort when the front door suddenly opened. "Nozaki, Sakura. It's me!" a male voice announced.

While Kei was distracted, Umetarou quickly grabbed his pen and his notebook. Noticing this, Chiyo gave him a curious look and quietly asked. "Nozaki-kun...?"

He returned the look, but his own was full of excitement. "Pay attention, Sakura! This is the first meeting of Mamiko and Makko!" he said in an equally quiet voice.

_'We have to come with a better name than Makko, Nozaki-kun...'_

Kei and Mikoto stared at each other for a few moments. And then Mikoto jumped away with a very startled expression on his face. "W-who?!"

"A GUY?!" Kei--startled by the red haired's yell and his own scream--fell back and hit his head against the floor.

"Wha-a--Ehh?!"

The younger Nozaki sat up and rubbed the pained part of his head. "...though if I think about it, it makes absolute sense..." he mumbled to himself, before looking at Mikoto's innocently confused expression and feeling really bad. "Um...!" he straightened his back and smiled at the older teen frankly.

As frankly as he could with the awkward feeling of his first impression being horrible, anyways.

"I'm--Nozaki Kei. It's a pleasure to meet you!" he bowed down.

"Nozaki..." Mikoto quietly parroted, then gave Umetarou a deeply confused look. "...?!"

 Umetarou was--as always--completely unaffected and carefree. "He's my younger brother. He's here as a model." he explained.

"You had another brother? You didn't ever tell me, geez..." he sighed at his friend's lack of attention. He smiled at Kei and rested a hand on his hair. "I'm Mikoshiba Mikoto, by the way. You can call me Mikoto-niichan if you want. How old are you, anyway?"

Kei looked down. _'Dammit, I should tell him I'm only a year younger...'_ he thought. He looked at Mikoto then. He was surrounded by a cheerful sparkly aura as he rubbed his head. _'But he's clearly having so much fun I'll only feel bad...!'_

He didn't have to say anything though, because Umetarou spoke first. "He's sixteen."

"........" Mikoto slowly took his hand away from Kei, then proceeded to move towards the wall, curl up in a ball and blush the hell out of himself.

Chiyo and Kei immediately jumped in to help him. "It was a joke! A joke! Hahaha! I'm actually in middle school!"

"Don't worry, don't worry! I made the same mistake, Mikorin!"

They shared looks of doom as they realized they had said those contradictory things at the same time.

Mikoto turned around, red faced and with teary eyes. "You guys suck!"

Chiyo and Kei were hurt.

Umetarou was beaming. "PERFECT!" he exclaimed as he finished drawing a red-faced teary-eyes angry Mamiko.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh...! So you are _that_ Mikoto-san!" Kei exclaimed pleased.

Mikoto tilted his head to a side with confusion. " _That_ Mikoto-san?"

Kei smiled. "Thank you for taking care of Mayu! Thanks to you he's been getting out of the house a few times!" he looked at Umetarou. "Mom and dad told me, Mayu also mentioned him."

"Hmmm, I see." Umetarou answered. "I guess he they suit each other."

"Please phrase it differently!" was the embarrassed scream from a very red faced Mikoto.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, what tea brand is this?" Mikoto asked as he took a sip from his mug.

"Um? I don't know, I just grabbed what was there." Chiyo answered.

"If you're gonna drink, get away from the papers." Umetarou stated. He was currently drawing, Kei sitting in seiza, his back towards the low table and also drinking tea.

"Hm. Fair enough." Mikoto carefully took the mug and moved away from the table.

"If you have time to drink tea come here and work!"

"Don't be so indecisive!"

 

End of chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made Nozaki-kun sort of a tyrant in there...  
> Also, Chiyo is a shorty, you can't tell me she's not. 14something cms, holy GOD!  
> Also MayuMiko and NozaSaku for life.


	4. Matsuno Matsus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siblings are a pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Declaimer: Cuticle detective Inaba, Osomatsu-san, Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun. None of these belong to me, okay?
> 
> Author's note: I may have some grammatical errors, by the way, since English isn't my first language. Point them out if you want, or whatever...it's not like I want you to correct me...dummy!

Chiyo and Mikoto had left after a while. Umetarou kept drawing though, and so Kei took it upon himself to go buy groceries for dinner. It had been too long since he saw his big brother, and he missed him. So they planned to have dinner together.

He was walking back to Umetarou's house--groceries in hand--when he heard a loud voice quickly coming his way.

"MUSCLE, MUSCLE! HUSTLE, HUSTLE!"

Before he realized it, a man in yellow baseball clothes ran in inhuman speed past him. It was really fast, but Kei had managed to see him.

"MATSUNO-SAN?!" he looked the way that the man had ran off to, but he was already too far away for Kei to take a proper look at him.

It was utterly confusing, that was _nothing_ like the man he had met the day before. But...if he was honest he didn't actually know him...

The sunset was slowly starting to get darker and Kei decided to just let it be and get home to spend time with his brother.

Trying to find a shortcut, he ended up in a bridge. _'Where the hell...?!'_ he was getting annoyed now.

That is, until he saw a certain silhouette he believed to recognize. _'That hair...how did he change clothes so quickly?!'_

"Matsuno-san...?" he asked curiously. So--okay--he only met the man once, but Ichimatsu really didn't seem like the type to watch the sunset. They met in a _dark dirty ally_ for god's sake.

The man turned around, and Kei almost swallowed his own mouth.

"Yes? _Can I help you_?" he spoke English with a _very_ thick accent, but that wasn't what stood out the most about him.

Actually, everything stood out from him. Sunglasses (even though the sun was almost gone), a black lather jacket, a tank top _with his own face on it_ , pants that _glowed_...but that face, that was definitely Matsuno Ichimatsu's face.

Yet Kei didn't really want to believe it. He didn't want to discover that the man that found his beloved Luna, carried him home and drank tea in his kitchen was some weirdo with multiple personalities. "Matsuno...Ichimatsu...san?" he carefully asked again, in a mix of  anxiety and confusion.

The sparkling man put a hand on his head, and he instantly took three steps back to get that hand off him. " _Non_ , _non_. I'm afraid you've got the wrong man, _boy_."

"Eh? I did?" he was relieved on one side. His more emotional side, probably.

His rational side was screaming that  their faces were too alike to pass up.

"The one you're looking for--Ichimatsu--is my younger brother. I am Matsuno KARAMATSU, boy! For me to meet a comrade of  my beloved _buraza_...! I must really be a lucky man! Sinfully so!" he took his right hand on his bigger ones and shook it. "It is a true honor!"

Kei's rational side took over. He was skeptical. And disappointed. "You're messing with me, aren't you Matsuno-san?"

The man, 'Karamatsu' as he called himself ( _'Yeah_ , _right'_ ), seemed startled for a second, but quickly recovered and went back to his attempt of a cool aura. "Hmm! I understand how confused you must be, _boy_. It seems our Ichimatsu hasn't mentioned his brothers. It's quite understandable, he's a shy one. But I _assure_ you I am speaking the truth!

Kei didn't answer.

Karamatsu's lower lip trembled at the boy's lack of response and--obviously--trust, but he kept talking nonetheless. "If you're still longing for his company, I shall accompany you in your search!" he offered.

Still untrusting, Kei tried to get away from the man. "Ah, no...I have to go home and..."

"If I'm guessing correctly, the most promising option is the cat café so--"

"I'LL GO."

And just like that, Kei's rational side was lost.

He blindly followed the strange man in a leather jacket while this one looked for his brother. He was so distracted, he didn't notice when Karamatsu's face lit up as another man of the same face but wearing red clothes passed by.

" _Buraza_! Such good luck I must have to find you here!" Karamatsu exclaimed in glee, his arms open. Osomatsu didn't even look at him and instead kept silently walking away at a quicker pace. "Eh? W-wait, _buraza_...!"

Karamarsu also quickened his pace, accidentally leaving Kei--who was still daydreaming--behind. "Oh, _shit_!"

He ran back to the younger boy, grabbed his wrist and then ran back to his older brother "Osomatsu-niisan, it's important! This young man--!" by now, his deep tone of voice was starting to waver and his his forehead was wet in sweat for running back and forth so quickly.

Kei decided to listen to reason for once and stopped daydreaming to finally see the man Karamatsu was chasing. _'Wha...?'_ his eyes widened as the man of the red hoodie slightly turned their way.

"SAME FACE...!" was the scream from a deeply shocked and outraged Kei.

At that, Osomatsu finally stopped and took a look at them. When his eyes fell on Kei's shocked expression, a grin formed on his lips. "Eh? Who's that, Karamatsu? You're kidnapping kids now? Pervert."

Karamatsu smirked. "HEH! Not at all, _my buraza_. This young man happens to be a dear friend of Ichimatsu! He's searching for him and as the kind soul that is me, I'm helping him!" he explained.

_'He totally ignored the insult...! Wait--! That doesn't matter now, you mean that this really isn't Ichimatsu-san?! How many identical brothers does he have then?!'_

By now, Kei had successfully forgotten about how he _wasn't_ looking for Ichimatsu in the first place and how his brother was waiting to have dinner with him.

"Haven't you seen him around by any chance?" Karamatsu asked.

Osomatsu ignored his brother and instead focused on Kei, his shit-eating grin still on. "You're _Ichimatsu's_ friend? No way! Did he threaten you or something?"

"Uh, no...I..."

"Aha, I see!" he obnoxiously interrupted. "I'm pretty sure he's at home, c'mon, Ichi's friend!"

And then--while he was being dragged the street by Osomatsu with Karamatsu following behind--Kei realized something.

"Wait, wait! I wasn't actually looking for him! I have to--!"

"Man, you must be a really weird kid to be friend with Ichimatsu of all people! What, you like cats too?"

"I'm serious...! Let me go!"

"I think we have some at home, he's always carrying strays around..."

And with that, Kei's switch went off. "I hope I'm welcomed then~!" he exclaimed with a radiant smile while he skipped.

"Oh. His attitude suddenly changed."

"So you _were_ listening to me after all, Osomatsu-san~! Well, I'll forgive you this time, silly."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Pardon the mewtrusion~!" Kei exclaimed cheerfully as he entered the Matsuno household with a jump, taking his shoes off midair and landing perfectly on his feet.

"He's really into this, huh?"

Just as they approached the door, it opened to reveal yet another man with the same face as Karamatsu and Osomatsu. This one had a green hoodie on. Kei wondered if the color of their hoodies was the way they differentiated themselves.

For a moment, they just stared at each other in silence, blinking.

And then the man snapped. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A KID?!" he screamed.

Osomatsu was the one to respond. In a completely relaxed and different from the other way, mind you. "Calm down, Choromatsu. He's just a friend..."

"LIAR!" the green wearing brother responded angrily as he grabbed Kei's shoulders and moved him away from the other two. "He looks innocent as hell! There's no way he'd hang out with _you_! You tricked him didn't you?!"

"I'm _saying_ , we didn't! He's Ichimatsu's friend. So we brought him here." Osomatsu explained.

Choromatsu's grip on Kei's shoulder loosened, but he was clearly still skeptical. "Ichimatsu's friend? Couldn't you have made up a better lie?"

So, okay, none of his brothers believed Ichimatsu could have a friend, apparently. And honestly Kei wasn't his friend, but he did respect him, and after all this depreciation from his brothers he was feeling bad about him too.

Choromatsu looked at him in the eye, his eyes giving away how skeptical he was about the whole situation. "You're not actually Ichimatsu's friend, are you?"

Kei stayed silent.

Ichimatsu was a good man (in his eyes). Yet his brothers had absolutely no faith in him.

Osomatsu sighed. "I guess it makes sense. Ichimatsu is Ichimatsu after all, there's no way he has friends." he said as he scratched the back of his neck. "You messed up, Kaeamatsu."

Now even Karamatsu was doubtful. "We-well...maybe I assumed it..."

Kei sniffed back a tear. "Actually I am Ichimatsu-san's friend!" he shouted.

Choromatsu looked at him like he was crazy. "Eh? You _are_?!"

Kei nodded furiously, still trying to keep his tears from falling. "I am!" he tries to think of something to say to make it believable. "Since we both like cats!"

"........."

"........."

"........."

"..................."

Osomatsu broke the silence with an obnoxious laugh. "I see! You _were_ worked up about cats a while ago!"

The door opened again behind them. "What is all the fuss about~?" a whiny voice asked.

"Todomatsu..." Choro voiced. Kei looked at him. This one had a pink hoodie on. His eyes rested on him and he raised an eyebrow curiously.

Kei opened his mouth to scream.

Only to sigh instead.

_'At this point, I'm unable to get surprised when more of them appear...'_

"Hmmm? Who's this?" Todomatsu asked.

Osomatsu responded. "This is a friend of Ichimatsu's..." he paused. "You never told us your name, did you?"

"You're just realizing that now?!" both Kei and Choromatsu screamed in unison.

Todomatsu ignored them all as he approached Kei. "Ichimatsu-niisan's? Really?"

Kei only nodded at the seemingly normal brother. "Um, I'm Nozaki Kei." he said.

Osomatsu stepped up and approached Kei, that signature grin of his on. "Well, just so you remember. I'm Matsuno Osomatsu, the oldest. Then there's Karamatsu, the painful one. Choromatsu, the fappy one--"

"That's not something you say to a kid, Osomatsu! And I'm _not_ fappy!"

"Yeah yeah, anyways...after him is Ichimatsu, you know him. Then Jyushimatsu, who's not here. And Todomatsu, that one over there." he finished explaining.

Kei looked down at his fingers. Then back at Osomatsu. "So you're six...?"

"Yup! We're sextuplets!"

_'HEY! Their names are so stupid!'_ he thought.

_'Actually_ I'm _stupid! How am I realizing this now?!'_

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Somehow, Kei ended up on the Matsuno living room, surrounded by the four brothers and getting a load of attention, specially from the ones wearing blue and pink.

There also weren't any cats in the house, by the way. To his huge disappointment.

"Cute!" Todomatau purred as he poked Kei's cheek. "Your skin is so soft! Do you use any products?" he asked, very femininely too.

"Er, no. I don't..."

"Heh! A true man's nature is all he needs to be beautiful, after all!" Karamarsu exclaimed as he looked up to the ceiling's light. 

"Eh~? You're everything but natural, Karamarsu-niisan! Gross~!"

"Guys. Stop bothering him!" Choromatsu yelled. "Um, do you want some pears?" he asked politely.

Kei nodded. "Er, yes. Thank you." he said awkwardly.

As the green-wearing sextuplet walked away, Osomatsu and Todomatsu grinned mischievously (evilly).

"Stop trying to act cool, Fappymatsu!"

"Oh no! Fappymatsu-niisan is rising again!"

"SHUT UP!" came the angry yell from the brother in the kitchen.

They both only laughed in response before Osomatsu turned towards Kei. "Hey, Kei. How did you meet Ichimatsu anyways? You're, like, a middle schooler, right?"

"A high schooler, actually." Kei corrected. He hoped that a comment about his height would help him avoid answering that question, but at their silence he was obliged to answer. "Ichimatsu-san saved me...and my cat too."

All the Matsus had their eyes widened so much they resembled plates. Their jaws were also dropped, but they didn't say a word.

Confused by their sudden silence, Kei thought they were waiting for details. "...I lost my cat and he found it. He also carried me home when I collapsed..."

After a few minutes, Choromatsu was the first to react.

" _ICHIMATSU_ DID?!" he screamed. "Purple hoodie, messy hair, monotone voice, bad posture, dead fish eyes, awful attitude, _that_ Ichimatsu?!" Kei only nodded furiously.

"HEH. As expected of such a good honored man as our brother!" Karamatsu exclaimed.

"Do we have a brother like that?" Todomatsu replied coldly.

Suddenly, a very loud voice interrupted the whole scene with a big slam that was probably the front door.

"WE'RE HOME!"

It seemed familiar somehow, but Kei couldn't figure out from where, or who.

That is, until two other men entered the room. Once being the sort-of-comforting purple-wearing Ichimatsu, and the other being an identical copy with a better posture and a yellow baseball uniform.

_'THAT GUY...!'_

Kei's first reaction was recognize the man in the baseball uniform. His second one, was realize what a panicked look it was the one Ichimatsu had in his eyes.

"Yo, Ichimatsu!" the oldest sextuplet greeted. "We found your friend!"

By now, Ichimatsu was sweating bullets.

Todomatsu also spoke. "Why didn't you tell us you had a friend, Ichimatsu-niisan?" he asked with a giggle.

Jyushimatsu made a loud noise that somehow sounded surprised. "You've got a human friend, Ichimatsu-niisan?!"

Kei wondered how none of his brothers noticed that Ichimatsu looked like he was about to explode.

"Your comrade has told us all about your bravery and kindness, dear _buraza_! I have nothing but congratulations to you!"

_'Shittymatsu...!'_

That was it.

"Ahhhhh!" Kei screamed as he was suddenly dragged by his shirt and then picked up. When he realized it, he was being carried out of the house by the purple-wearing brother.

"He's trying to get away! Get him, Jyushimatsu!"

"WOOF!"

"WHAT IS HAPPENING?!"

 

End of chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing buraza is unavoidable. I can't help it. No one can help it.   
> That and non non. God, I've always wanted to write Karamatsu's non non. I may be a closet Karamatsu girl.


	5. A hobo and a brat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little night adventure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Cuticle detective Inaba, Osomatsu-san, Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun. None of these belong to me, okay?
> 
> Author's note: Geez, sorry if this took longer (I don't really keep in mind the day I upload). I'm working in another story I might post, so I get distracted thehehehehehe.

Ichimatsu did not know how to carry people.

It wasn't like Kei was expecting him to be...but being carried was embarrassing enough, and with the clumsy way he was being held he had to cling to the man's clothes and wrap himself around his neck, which was even more embarrassing.

He didn't even have to be carried in the first place! Why was he being carried?! Why were they running away?!

"Ichimatsu-san! What the hell?!" he screamed. The man didn't answer and just kept running. "Hey! Ichimatsu-san! Why are we running?! Let me go! Hey!"

At the boy's constant screams and resistance, Ichimatsu snapped. "SHUT UP!"

Kei did.

Ichimatsu looked back, none of his brothers were in sight. He turned into an ally and pressed his back against the wall. Kei silently clinged to his clothes.

After a few minutes, he let the boy drop to the floor.

"Augh! Owww! Why did you do that?!" Kei yelled angrily.

Ichimatsu let himself slide down against the wall and sat on the floor too.

"Guess I'm homeless now..." he mumbled.

"WHY?!"

"Well, the ally is more fitting anyways..."

"No, wait! What do you mean you're homeless?!" Kei asked startled.

Ichimatsu's dark eyes finally moved from his side to focus on Kei. "I can't go back there...Those five men are demons. You hear me? Demons!" he turned his head to a side again. "Go away now. But hide if you see them."

Kei was beyond unsatisfied with the man's answers. "I--!"

_Grrrrrrrrrrrrr_

Kei gave Ichimatsu a funny look. "......" the man turned his head away from the boy. "...wanna go eat something?"

Ichimatsu didn't even look at him. "No."

"I know you're hungry."

"So?"

Tired of the man's stubborn--and to be frank, childish--attitude, Kei decided to use his last resource.

"I'll go find your brothers, then!"

Ichimatsu was so suddenly startled that even his hair spiked up.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"You're a fucking brat."

After a while of seeing restaurants and reaching the conclusion that Ichimatsu did _not_ want to be anywhere near people, they settled with croquets from a stand in the streets.

"Where did that come from? I treated you to dinner!" Kei complained.

Ichimatsu took a bite of his croquette. "You're too stubborn."

_'_ I _AM?!'_

"What do you even gain from forcing me to eat?"

Kei blinked. "Well, I respect you and I'm grateful to you. Helping someone that helped you is normal." he explained simply.

Ichimatsu just stared at him silently for a moment, before a shadow covered his eyes and he spoke. " _Respect_ me?"

_'Actually, I'm not that sure about that anymore...'_

"You must've hit your head pretty hard if you're respecting trash now."

"You're _mad_ now?! Why?!"

Ichimatsu ignored his protests. "Respect? Gratefulness? What's wrong with you?" he said in a dark tone.

"What's wrong with _you_?!" Kei snapped back.

Their heated argument was suddenly interrupted by a new voice.

"Meeeoooww~"

Both their heads snapped towards the source of the sound.

It was a box. A dirty old box with six kittens in it. A dirty old man was carrying it and currently putting it on the floor.

That man was leaving kittens.

On the street.

The cold, dirty, dangerous street.

_Alone_.

Their argument was over.

Immediately after the man had put the box down, he was simultaneously kicked in the head and on the ribs by both raven-haired males.

He instantly fell to the floor, and both Ichimatsu and Kei glared at him from above, their eyes dark and full of resentment.

"Ah. I stepped on shit." Ichimatsu monotonously said.

"It's moving though." Kei was speaking in a similar tone. "Shit isn't supposed to move."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

They ended up in jail.

While beating the man mercilessly, someone called the police and they were both dragged away from the man.

Currently, they were sitting on a bench, their hands cuffed. Ichimatsu had several cuts and scratches on him, since he had tried to fight the cops too. Kei, on the other side, barely had any traces of scratches.

They had successfully taken the kittens with them thanks to Ichimatsu's struggles though.

Kei looked at Ichimatsu proudly. "Ichimatsu-san, you're a good guy. I respect you even more now." he stated.

Ichimatsu didn't bother to respond, instead looking away from the younger.

Suddenly, the door slammed open, revealing a tall man in a dark suit. "Assistant!" he exclaimed with worry.

Kei perked up. "Ogi-san!"

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Kei's eyes turned dark. "We beat up trash."

"Please remain as the non-evil assistant."

"Ah! I should introduce you!" Kei exclaimed as a sunny smile appeared on his lips. "Ichimatsu-san, this is Ogino Kuniharu-san, a detective from the state. Ogi-san, this is Matsuno Ichimatsu-san, a fellow cat-lover!"

Ogino nodded at the man, but Ichimatsu only looked away. "You know people from the police?" he asked Kei.

"Yeah, since I work for a detective."

".......you _work_..."

"...? Yeah."

"At sixteen."

"Yeah."

Before Ichimatsu could react properly, Ogino interrupted. "What did you do anyways? I can get you out if it's not too bad."

"We beat up a guy." Kei answered. "But he was terrible! He was leaving little kittens alone in the streets! In a _box_!"

Ogino nodded. "I see." he said as he rubbed the younger's head. Kei blushed at that. "Those bruises are good then. Proof that it was an equal fight."

"Uh, actually," Kei stopped him before he left the room. "Those are because Ichimatsu-san tried to fight off the policemen..."

"...." Ogino looked at Ichimatsu, and he again looked away in response. The oldest man sighed. "I'll get you out." he promised Kei, who nodded back with glee. _'This will be hard as hell...'_

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ogino had managed to keep his promise. Kei and Ichimatsu were released after a few hours, though Ogino hadn't wanted to tell them how he did it.

"Never do this again, got it?" the man had said before leaving.

Kei and Ichimatsu found themselves walking around senselessly after that, Ichimatsu with the box of kittens in hand.

"Ichimatsu-san," Kei called. Ichimatsu only nodded. "...you know...since you've got nowhere to sleep...you could, er, stay in my place..."

Ichimatsu stared at the boy intently, making him gulp nervously. "You just want the kittens." he stated.

"What? It's not like--! Okay, maybe it is..." Kei admitted. "But I really wouldn't mind you there! And all that problem with your brothers was kind of my fault..."

"It _was_ your fault."

"Okay! Well--do you prefer to sleep in my apartment over the cold streets or not?!"

".........." Ichimatsu stared at Kei. Kei stared at Ichimatsu. "Just....for the kittens...."

Kei smiled.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_"KEI! ARE YOU OKAY?!"_

Kei felt like fifty bricks of guilt were thrown on his head.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. I'm so sorry, Umetarou-niisan." he said. Kei was grateful they were speaking trough the phone, the guilt was already eating him alive, if he saw his brother's worried face he'd surely die. "Did you eat something?" _'Please tell me you didn't wait all this time for me...'_

_"Well, I'm eating now."_

Okay, now he was crying. "Waahhh! I'm so sorry Umetarou-niisan! I'm an awful brother! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Ichimatsu watched the crying boy from a bench while he petted the kittens. They had stopped suddenly when Kei said that he needed to call his brother right that instant.

It was...weird. So normal brothers cried for each other apparently...

Maybe it was better that he wasn't that close with his brothers. He'd be damned if he ever cried for them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Who is this?" Iyori asked plainly.

There was a shabby man, dirty, injured and holding a box of kittens accompanying his roommate.

"This is Ichimatsu-san. The one who found Luna. Ah, Ichimatsu-san, this is my roommate Iyori-san." Kei said. Ichimatsu--as expected--didn't offer any kind of greeting.

Iyori sighed. "Why does he have kittens? Kei, your allergy--"

"It's just for today! We'll clean all the hair left afterwards!"

"You can't clean it up, Kei!" Iyori exclaimed. He sighed again, he didn't have time for this. "Alright. So he's staying for one night only?"

Kei looked at Ichimatsu for confirmation, but he only looked away. "Uh, yeah, I guess so."

The bartender grabbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "Alright. I can't question you right now, I gotta go to work. When he leaves he's got to clean wherever the kittens stay or you'll get an allergic attack again. Got it?" without waiting for an answer, he took his keys--he already had his jacket on--and left. "Bye!"

Kei and Ichimatsu stared at the door in silence, none of them knowing what to do next.

"...oy, brat..."

"It's Kei."

"Yeah, whatever. I, uh..." Ichimatsu's eyes traveled around the room as he searched for the right words. "I don't know how to clean."

Kei's jaw dropped, as well as his heart.

 

End of chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They kind of reminded me of Kuro and Mahiru from Servamp in this chapter, how cute.
> 
> Also, expect every problem between Ichi and Kei to be solved with cats.
> 
> Just kidding.
> 
> Maybe.


End file.
